The 8 Simple Steps to Happiness

Having experienced my fair share of bouts with negativity and sadness, and what my thirteen-year-old self thought was depression, I have come to recognize happiness in all forms. More importantly, I have come to understand the little things that can contribute to our overall fulfilment, satisfaction, and happiness. Here, I share with you, 8 simple steps to becoming a happier person and living a happier life.

1. Make a space for yourself, rather, make your space yourself.

      A personalized space made to suit your personality, hobbies, and interests is an essential part of all-round happiness. This could be your bedroom, your office, or your car. Whatever space this is for you, it needs to be a place that you can identify with. It is crucial that your space is reflective of you, complete with pictures of your favorite people, reminders of your fondest memories, and pieces of yourself everywhere. It must be a space that, when entered, allows you to connect with happiness.

      

      2. Keep good company.

The people you keep around you have a huge effect on your overall contentment. While some cases are so drastic that the immediate removal of these people from our lives is necessary, there are other options available. Simply becoming more in control of the effect our company has on us can do the trick. Pay attention to how you feel around certain people. If particular crowds make you feel less at ease, and maybe even a bit anxious, either stop hanging around them, or desensitize your emotions prior to meeting up with them. Sometimes, these people are our closest friends or family members. We might enjoy spending time with them, but they can still rub us the wrong way. You have to pick and choose what matters most; happiness, or keeping them in your life. Or, if the answer is both, find equilibrium.

3. Understand the impact of music.

Music brings happiness, when used wisely. Make playlists for times you need to cry, practice your model walk, or rock out to in your room. By controlling what you hear, you control how you feel. If a song that makes you cry all the time comes on, skip it. If the song your lame ex used to sing to you is next on shuffle, skip it. Opt for the upbeat, more light-hearted songs that light a fire within you. Then, burn shit down.

4. Spend time alone and be comfortable doing it.

Some people just cannot stand to be in their own company. This is a sign of an unhealthy dependence on others. Surely, we’ve all been at that place where all we wanted was company, but learning how to be alone is a lifelong skill that will reward you exponentially. Being home alone on a Friday or Saturday night is not the end of the world, and there are one million and two mothers and fathers and full-time workers in the world that would love to exchange places for your lonesome on any given day. So go on a solo shopping trip, watch a couple movies in your basement, or just jam out to your favorite music until you fall asleep. Just make sure that whatever you do, it is a bonding experience for you and you. 

5. Practice wellness.

Trust me; I'm no health and food expert. I have poutine and chicken fingers on speed-dial. But at some point, you have to remember that your body has needs too. Catering to these nutritional needs help you to feel much better about yourself, physically and mentally. Eating healthier, getting enough sleep, and the occasional workout (no matter how in shape you are) helps you to feel more energized, which in turn allows you to do more, and ultimately to live more. Substitute a salad for French fries every once in a while. When you’re in dire need of that poutine, you can eat it and enjoy it without feeling like you've just committed the ultimate sin. Remember: everything in moderation.

      6.  Do good things.

I'm still mustering up the courage to donate blood after hearing about the wonders that it worked, not only for the lucky recipients, but for the souls those who donated blood.

“As soon as I was done, she showed me the bag of blood and told me I just saved a life. Nothing feels better than that,” I remember my friend Paul telling me after he had been to a blood drive.

Doing good things, no matter how small, allows you to feel better about yourself. Smile at strangers, hold doors open for those in front and behind you, and always give up your seat for the elderly. These small tasks can really fuel your purpose as a citizen.

7. Kick pride to the curb side.

Having too much pride can get in the way, and even destroy, a lot of things. Apologize when you’re at fault, admit to being wrong when you’re wrong and my personal favourite  “Keep your words sweet in case you have to eat them.” This creates a set of realistic expectations of yourself, allows you to make mistakes, while still teaching you a lesson each time. 

8. Acceptance.

When I was 17, I had the genius idea of getting the word "redemption" tattooed on my foot. The idea behind it was that every step we take is a chance to redeem ourselves from things we have said or done in the past. But after a short while, I realized that I didn't have to redeem myself from anything really, and that bygones were bygones. I changed my mind and got "happiness" tattooed on my right foot instead. Because every step we take should be a step in the direction of happiness, and the future is much more important (and interesting) than the past.

This is the ultimate key to the ultimate happiness. You must accept things for what they are. Things like your past, matters that are out of your control and people that are no longer in your life need to be let go of.

Let go.

Move on.

And if you ever feel the need to revisit your past, do so, but only for a brief moment. Send positive thoughts to the people of your history, and then refocus on the people and circumstances of your present. Finding peace can only happen if we make room for it.  

So there you have it. The recipe for the most delicious dish of fulfilment  satisfaction, and happiness. Bon appetit mon amis!

Why We Should Say "No" More Often

Do you ever catch yourself saying yes to things just as a matter of habit or because you feel obligated? I’d like to think that it is part of the human condition to respond with this quick-fix answer and later on feel regretful, perhaps even resentful towards the situation we got ourselves into, not so willingly. How is it that we still say yes to people when asked to do something, or go somewhere, that we really have no interest in?

            

 As I was writing this, Goodlife Fitness called me and informed me that I have a free seven day pass to attend their gym. As I listened to the representative’s well-rehearsed speech, I looked out the window and saw snow, rain, and I think maybe the end of the world approaching. When he was all finished up, he asked, “So, are you interested in the free seven day pass?” And to my surprise, I said no.

I knew that if I said yes, I would end up avoiding phone calls from the gym, lying to the representative about why I couldn’t make it in, or why I hadn’t begun my trial as yet. I also knew that I would have to come up with another lie as to why I didn’t want to sign up for a year, granted they would most likely ask me on that seventh day. For once, I opted for the easy way out. The real easy way out.

Our problem is two-fold. The first part is what was mentioned above about feeling the need to lie and tell people what they want to hear, rather than have them deal with hearing the truth; your truth. Then, because we lied, we have to deal with the consequences within ourselves, through some elaborate façade because we have to maintain that lie.

The second part of it is that we tend to confuse the quick and easy solution for the real solution. We would rather say yes to avoid being questioned or asked to explain our choice on the spot, than to give our honest answer and our honest explanation, and put an end to the situation right then and there.

But somehow, I avoided this today in a three minute phone call, and was even thanked for my honesty.

                

Truthfully, it can take a long time to realize you have an addiction to saying yes. But if you constantly find yourself dodging phone calls, giving people the wrong number, or saying that you’re sick just to avoid going out, maybe you have some thinking to do.

The first step is to take your time when you are being asked a favor, being invited somewhere or anything else for that matter that you very well may not want to do. The trick to this is being considerate of how you might feel when the time comes around. Many times we say yes to things because at the moment it sounds like a great idea. Then you get cozy in bed on a Friday night after a long day at work, and going out doesn’t sound like such a great idea anymore.

The second step is to ask the right questions. Instead of immediately shutting down the Goodlife guy, I asked him if there was a time frame in which I had to use the pass, and he said no. While that was reassuring, and maybe even enticing, I knew myself well enough to know that by the time (if it ever came) I was ready to redeem it, I may have had too much else going on to make the time for it. Asking the right questions helps you to make clearer decisions when you’re being asked for an answer on the spot.

Speaking of giving answers on the spot, the last step is to use your right to the word “maybe”. This means allowing yourself a way out if you feel undecided. If the person needs an immediate yes or no and you have doubts, say no! The opportunity will more than likely come around again, unless it’s some coveted once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and even then, was this on your bucket list?

All in all, we cannot continue to live life being the victims of circumstances we have created for ourselves. We should do what we want with our lives, not what other people want us to do with it. So the next time you’re asked to stop and pick something or someone up, when really you don’t want to, say no! The next time you’re invited to a party you know you might not want to go to, say maybe. There is always more room to change your mind to do something than there is to change your mind against doing it, especially if you’ve already said that you would.

While this may seem like a small change to make, essentially, you are taking control of your life and your time; even if it will only be spent rolling around in bed doing absolutely nothing. And that, precisely, is the beauty of it all.

                

Was Seth MacFarlane Really That Bad?

There has been a hodgepodge of reviews on how Seth MacFarlane served as the host of the 85th annual Academy Awards (I never know whether to call it the Oscars, or the Academy Awards, but I'll use both throughout this post just to be fair). Best-known for his outlandish, witty, and perhaps even inappropriate sense of humor, is anyone else confused as to what people were expecting?

We've all watched at least one episode of Family Guy, and seen bits and pieces of American Dad. So if we can handle his humor when we are perched in front of our televisions for comic relief, what was the issue with him displaying his authentic self at the Oscars? (We're one for one now).

His jokes about the Latino presenters like Selma Hayek and Zoe Saldana, the hilarious Kardashian bit, and the still-too-soon? reference to the domestic abuse incident between Rihanna and Chris Brown, should have come as no surprise. Paying slight recognition throughout the show to the jokes that didn't go over so well, he was humble and well-composed for someone with an estimated 40.3 million eyes on him (well, 80.6 million if we're going to be technical).

Reports show there were one million more people tuned in this year as opposed to the 2012 Academy Awards, hosted by Billy Crystal. So why did Seth MacFarlane get such terrible reviews? Well, I think the most obvious answer would be the sophistication of the event. The Oscars call for a much more-dare I say it-uptight etiquette. Let's face it, this was not the MTV Awards. People don't get dressed up to the nines and wear their most expensive gear for what "felt like an awfully lot like a Family Guy episode," says Tim Molloy of TheWrap.

Nevertheless, Seth MacFarlane gave it his all, and more importantly, gave us all a show to remember. Despite making a statement that "No way" would he ever host the event again, and that it was a "lotta fun to have done it," the audience that could handle his humor will remember his ever-so-graceful presence on that stage...and perhaps use him as a frame of reference for the upcoming hosts-to-be. Whether or not that works in their favor? We'll have to wait and see.