5 rookie mistakes you're making at work

Entering the workforce can be a scary thing.

Nothing helped me realize this more than landing a job in my field before graduating. Except running into a former classmate of mine in my new place of work just a few months after I started there myself.

Despite only having a few months head start, I saw so much of myself in her and it showed me just how far I’d come in my own personal and professional growth. And while I was not yet an expert, I was able to empathize with the terror of beginning and offer her a few tips and tricks on what to avoid doing as a new professional.

So whether you’re a student, a bright-eyed, bushy-tailed graduate, or no stranger to the 9-5 lifestyle, there are a few rookie mistakes we’ve all made at some point that should be avoided at all costs. Here they are.

Negative self-talk

I learned how negatively I talked about myself the hard way. During my training, I would often joke about my lack of luck, how likely I would be to fail at something, or laugh at how long it took me to understand things. While it was really just my way of handling the stress of adjusting and learning so many new things at once, it was a terrible self-perception, and more importantly, a series of terrible, and even untrue self-proclamations.

The way that you talk about yourself is directly correlated to how people perceive you. Use more positive words. If you don’t understand something that’s already been explained, ask for one more explanation, make notes, and then try it on your own. There’s no point getting down on yourself—or trying to make a joke of something as serious as your livelihood. It’s not cute or funny, just unnecessary and potentially damaging.

Being overly emotional

When a colleague of mine became (what I felt was) overly-critical of my work, I found myself deeply bothered by it. As weeks went on, I realized that I felt more anxious and on edge when he was around. But as I continued to apply his criticisms to my work, I realized that I was becoming better at what I did.

If someone is critical of you, allow yourself a moment to detach your emotions from the situation. This doesn’t mean you should let people walk all over you, but it does mean that you should take whatever advice and criticism you can get and apply it to your work without being emotionally affected by the situation.

Not building connections

One of the most important things you can do to maintain your network and your reputation is to build solid relationships. Get to know the people you work with. Ask them about their day, their weekend and their families if it’s not too invasive.

And don’t be fake about it either. Some of the most meaningful friendships can grow from people who work in the same environment as you because they understand the daily stresses you endure better than anyone. Don’t be afraid to make friends.

Not appearing confident

This goes hand in hand with number one, but the effect comes, and can be far-reaching before we even open our mouths.  

Dress appropriately. Even if you work behind the scenes, dressing like you don’t care about your job can give the impression that you don’t. Look certain of yourself, look like you belong and most importantly, look comfortable in your space.

When you speak, speak objectively. Replace your question marks at the end of your sentences with periods. Phrase your questions before you ask them, sometimes you’ll find the answer without even asking it (and you save yourself from looking a little silly).

Not doing the work

It might seem obvious, but you wouldn’t believe the shortcuts people take in the name of doing less work. But the thing about work is, we go there to do just that. We spend years of our lives and thousands of dollars to get good jobs, and when we do, we can’t be lazy.

So do the work. Go above and beyond the call of duty. Sooner or later your work ethic will begin to speak for itself and you will always have solid references to count on.

Life after graduation: How I've settled into semi-adult life

On my vision board, I’ve got this picture of a birthday cake that says two numbers; 25 and 27.

According to the picture, 25 is when you’re at your happiest, and 27 is when you’re at your healthiest.

When I graduated university a few months ago, I didn’t know what to expect. How long would it take me to find a job? How much would I make at that job? Would I have to keep my current job to make ends meet? How much free time would I have? What would I do with that free time? How in the heck am I going to pay off these student loans? And most importantly, am I really going to be my happiest at 25?

This Thanksgiving, I did that really typical thing where you count all your blessings and think about all the things you’re grateful for. And much to my surprise, a lot of the worries and concerns that I had at the beginning of the year had disappeared without me even noticing their absence.

In January, tensions were high. I had to do a three-month unpaid internship while working full-time and taking a math course I found extremely difficult that was required in order to graduate. I had forked over some serious cash for a tutor who I would see whenever I had a second off work or school. I really wasn’t sure whether I’d make it to convocation in June.

There were several days I came home teary-eyed and defeated by 16-hour days. My parents, friends and even a few strangers heard all about it.

You get anxiety. Especially as a woman. Your biological clock is ticking. People are getting pregnant, engaged, married or all three everytime you blink. House prices are skyrocketing. All you want is a crystal ball that tells you you'll have it all in just a few years. But when that uncertainty looms in the air, it's hard to breathe sometimes.

Luckily, by the end of that internship, and certainly by the time I got that magical letter in the mail letting me know that finally, after six years, I’d satisfied the graduation sensei and was granted permission to graduate, things had worked themselves out.

First, I was able to land a job in my field just before graduation. It’s great pay, and I love the job I do. I take pride in it, I enjoy my coworkers, and I leave there everyday a tad bit more knowledgeable than I was when I arrived.

In terms of my student loan, living at home has allowed me to make significant dents in my payback amount, which was a whopping $22,000 just four months ago, and it currently sits at just under $10,000. According to my math, which like I said, isn't very good, that's $12,000 in repayment in just four months. Not bad.

Sure, it kills me to know that this money could be in the bank, but the cost of school was worth every penny. And strangely, I enjoy the challenge of trying to meet my deadline of full repayment by July 2017.

As I get closer and closer to the age of 25, I realize that maybe that’s the age Women’s Health magazine predicts us to be our happiest because while we are adults, we are still kids in a way.

My eye doctor gave me a “student discount” the other day despite me telling him I had finally graduated. Whenever I need something from my parents, I remind them that I’m in “repayment mode”, which prompts some sympathy and a hand with whatever task I’m facing.

But like I said, we’re also adults. I’ve set up RRSPs. My boyfriend and I have made a five-year plan that will hopefully result in home ownership, marriage, and some adorable, healthy kids.

I’ve heard people say that debt is just a part of life. I’ve heard people say that you can’t get everything you want. But I don’t want to be in debt. And I do want it all. To get that, I haven’t been able to completely part with those 16-hour days, and I’m limited to about one day off every two weeks. I’ve got a very boring social life, but people understand. If people truly love you and understand your goals and your mission, they understand.

One thing I’ve realized about life is that the things you want truly are yours for the taking. There’s obstacles. Tons. There’s competition. There’s lots and lots of “no’s”. But commitment, persistence and hard work can get you to the places that you want to be.

I wasn’t sure what to expect after graduation, and I’m not sure what to expect when I turn 25 in a few months, but I wouldn’t trade anything about my busy, tiresome, whirlwind days for anything that I could’ve imagined. And I truly believe that the best is yet to come.

So I Went Out By Myself Last Night

I’m reading The Alchemist. It’s a wonderful book. I’ve learned a lot about what it means to follow my “personal legend”.

So when I was driving home last night, I realized that unlike most nights, I didn’t want to go home and go to bed. I wanted to hear music. And I wanted to dance. That was my personal legend. For the night, at least.

It was Thursday. There were tons of places I could go on a Thursday. “But I’m alone,” I thought. “I can’t go alone.”

You’re probably reading this thinking, yes you can. And yes, I can. But being able to do something and actually having the courage to are two different things. We can run for President. We can go skydiving. We can shave our heads bald if we wish. But will we? Do we?

I drove around thinking about whether I had it in me to go to a party by myself. I had seen other girls do it. There were a few that I always saw when I was out and they were alone. But they didn’t seem lonely. They came, they had a drink, they danced. If they could do it, couldn’t I?

I parked my car in my driveway and left my purse in my car. I knew that if I left it in there and decided to stay home, I would have to go and get it, which is the halfway mark to going out entirely.

So I left my purse. I set up a trap for myself to get me to do what I wanted to do.

I went upstairs, changed into some jeans, tied my hair up and looked myself in the mirror as the Rocky theme song played from a magical speaker in the air. And then I got in my car and drove.

I can’t tell you why I had the thoughts I had while I was driving. But I can tell you what they were and perhaps you can relate.

Do I dance? Like, by myself?

How much should I be in my phone?

Do I buy myself a drink?

Do I look for other losers like me and try and make a coalition?

What time should I leave?

And what will I do with my hands?

When I entered the party, the music gave me a warm welcome and I knew I made the right choice. I walked over to the bar, I ordered a drink and I watched the sports recaps of the week. I sat there and said hello to a few people that I had known. And then I danced. Not in the middle. And not too far out. I just rocked back and forth all night long to the music that brought me there. And it was one of the best nights I’ve ever had.

We live in a society that praises independence while simultaneously discouraging us from being alone. Our culture praises cliques and the grouping of individuals together, even if it is founded upon shallow relationships and hollow principles. The dichotomy is so confusing that it’s awkward and challenging to be in our own company in public, despite our willingness, and even our desire to.

But by reading The Alchemist, I am learning to unconcern myself with those voices, those thoughts and those ideas, and instead listen to the desires of my heart and of my soul.

So last night, when I said and when I felt, “I want to hear some music,” it was louder than the “but you’re alone,” and the “you can’t go alone,” which I also said and felt.

You can feel a bunch of things. But you only have to pick one.

The thing is, I was so close to staying home. I was so close to settling. I was so close to letting the fears that have been pushed onto me by a series of cultural institutions and the ways of social media that I almost opted out of doing what I desired.

But I didn’t.

I even found the answers to my menacing thoughts.

Yes you dance. By yourself.

Don’t go in your phone. And I didn’t.

Yes, buy yourself a drink. But just one, you’re driving.

They’re not losers. Don’t look for them. And don’t make a coalition.

Leave when you feel content. Leave when you feel you got what you desired.

That’s a tough one. Act natural?

There’s a quote that is often repeated in The Alchemist and it reads, “When you want something, the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

I think that deep down inside we all know what we want. But I also think that there are a lot of things that get in the way and confuse us and trick us into thinking maybe we want something else. And despite knowing, we second-guess, for one reason or another. It’s not a terrible thing to second-guess, to think, to analyze and to consider. But it is a terrible thing to let those things get in the way of what you really desire.

So know. Second-guess. Analyze. And consider.

But follow your intuition. It only ever leads us to beautiful places.

Places that we belong.